I was reading Adam Rex’s post about where his ideas come from, which reminded me of me (duh! My inner Pinky says it’s all about me!). This brought to mind several scenarios that occasionally traipse through my brain as I am trying to go to sleep at night.
Scenario 1
The first recurring fantasy is that The Former Guy decides that rather than face justice, he should relocate to amore welcoming country, namely Russia! His buddy Vlad (they get along so well, because Vlad is so strongly approving of TFG) has always said the welcome mat would always be out for his pal Donald. (Perhaps there were tears in his eyes as he professed his undying admiration of TFG.)
Anyway, Donald packs up his favorite, most beloved classified documents, his adoring family, and his golf clubs on his plane, Air Farce One, and takes off for Russia.
On arrival, they learn that they will not be living in a sprawling, luxurious dacha, but in a tiny, one bedroom walk up flat in one of the shabbier sections of Moscow. All of them: TFG, TFG Jr, Ivanka and Jared, what’s his name, and the other spouses will all be living in this tiny apartment. The bathroom is down the hall and shared with 26 other flats on the floor. Someone down the hall is constantly boiling cabbage.
The plane has been “requisitioned” for the war effort, so there is no going back.
The sole window does not open.
Scenario 2
TFG does not flee, and stays to face the multitude of indictments. He is convicted on all counts, but what to do with him? How can he serve his sentence? No one of his former standing has ever been incarcerated before.
The Justice Department devises a clever solution: A special unit is built on the grounds of a maximum security prison. It is a replica of parts of the White House, with video screens in the “windows” that show the scenes outside the actual White House, which change with the time of day as well as the seasons.
The unit has a replica of the Oval Office and part of the residence. Members of his Secret Service detail act the parts of his chief of staff and other aides. As a gesture of compassion, there is an omelet bar in the office just off the Oval Office. The phone only connects with the guard command center, where the Secret Service hides out in between their shifts minding TFG (which now stands for “The Felon Guy”) They take turns pretending to be Vladimir Putin or Kim Jong Un on the phone to TFG. Sometimes they pretend to be Hilary Clinton, but that is usually a bad idea and whoever made that call is responsible for cleaning up the ketchup and burger spills.
When not making up vindictive fantasies about the former guy, I’ve been painting…
Here are the next two stages of the painting I’ve been working on. I think I will finish it up in a couple of days.
Looking forward to finishing this up by the end of the week!
By the way…here’s a link to
Adam Rex’s post about his new book and where his ideas come from. I’m glad to start finding some of the Kid Lit community here.