I Was Going to Write About Bears, But...

There have been so, so, so many bears in the Nooz! Bears eating lunches (not theirs) in work trucks. Bears eating lunches and getting stuck in windows (not theirs). Bears climbing on the porch (also not theirs) and emptying the bird feeder. Bears playing on a home putting green and swimming in a pool. (Need I add: not theirs?)

But new shit has come to light!

First, there is the tiny submarine (more of a submarine sports car) which went on a three hour tour to see the Titanic and didn’t come back! Why is it when really rich people decide to do something risky (the 2008 mortgage crisis comes to mind) the rest of us get stuck with the check to clean up the mess?

I mean, they should definitely try to save them, even if they are billionaires. It just kind of seems like if they are billionaires, that maybe they should pick up some of the bill.

But that was not the wildest thing in the Nooz…

Apparently, there is a creepy, slimy infestation that is happening in Florida. No, no, no, I don’t mean Rhonda Santis, although…. No, this is the story of the giant African land snails that have invaded part of Broward County in South Florida. As icky things in nature go, these are right up there with geoducks. At least geoduck are (allegedly) edible. (No thank you.)

These giant snails can reach 8 inches long, eat over 500 plants, also eat stucco, plaster, and plastic recycling bins. Hey! Could we feed them plastic bottles? Never mind. The shells are so sharp they can picture your car’s tire if you run over them. Oh, and they also carry “rat lungworm parasites” which causes meningitis in people and animals.

My understanding is you REALLY don’t want to get that.

Currently, they are quarantined in a small part of the county in South Florida, but since they can lay up to 2,500 eggs at once, the potential for spread is…um…really really huge.

Have we had enough non-bear content yet?

It’s almost time for Fat Bear Week! (Mikey says he still doesn’t like fish)

A little housekeeping. If you haven’t already explored the Notes section, it’s a nice alternative to the other socials. Right now it’s a bit like hanging out at the Substack writers clubhouse. It’s a good place to discover other writers (there are other writers than me?) and read some of their posts before subscribing. They have also introduced a referral thingy, but honestly, it seems like way more work than I want to do. I just want to shoot my mouth off and draw bears, if it’s all the same to you.

Thanks again for reading and sharing my posts. It makes the possibility of being invaded by giant snails slightly less terrifying.